Episode 93: In The Moment

Freedom is such a big part of my mission, because it’s something I’ve personally struggled with. 

I know how hard it can be to enjoy the moment instead of living for the future. 

I know how hard it can be to be fully present at work when at work, and fully present with family or friends, or wherever you may be.

In this episode, I’ll be talking about not allowing work to bleed into every aspect of your life, not allowing it to take over, but actually being present. 


What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why it’s important to be honest about your priorities and values
  • One big myth about the relationship between time and priorities
  • How to intentionally plan your time
  • What boundaries are and who to create them for


Hey. Welcome back to the podcast. I've got a question for you today that might seem a little bit random, but I promise it relates to the topic for the day. Are you a listen to holiday music before December kind of person? I'm curious because even though this episode is releasing the Monday before Christmas, I'm still in early November here and as I'm recording, that is. And we're not even past Thanksgiving yet, And I was trying to play some instrumental music earlier while I worked, and all of a sudden, Christmas music started playing. It doesn't feel like Christmas to me yet, so I just kept skipping all the holiday songs. I guess I just love fall and Thanksgiving, and I don't wanna rush past it. I really do like Christmas music.

I'm just not ready for it yet. But then again, just a few days ago, my youngest brother asked if I wanted to go with him to Target, which, Of course, my response is always yes. And as we were driving, Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas Is You came on, And we sing it at the top of our lungs. So maybe with that said, I can go either way. But I think that's because, to me, it's all about being in the moment. Listening to Christmas music today feels like I'm rushing past the current upcoming holiday and the current season that we're in. But belting make my wish come true with my brother was certainly a moment in and of it self. So fun, and it was fun to just be in that moment and just really, like, felt that out.

So it's interesting how my brain works Different days around the same topic, but, again, it all comes back to being in the moment. And it's all the times when I'm truly in the moment that I treasure the most. So as easy as it is to skate right through life, wondering where time went, It's something that I can tell you I've personally struggled with and still do at times because I'm human, and it's easy to slip back into old habits. But I can tell you freedom is such a big part of my mission because of my challenges with this, and I know just how hard it can be to enjoy the moment that you're in instead of living for the future. I'm definitely a futuristic thinker. I am constantly focused on the next goals, and I really have to remind myself and work to be fully present wherever I am, whether that's at work, whether that's with family, whether that's with friends. And so this episode is for you if you want to go all in wherever you are, not just around the holidays, not just in this time of spending extra time with family and friends, but choosing to live in the moment year around. In other words, not allowing work to bleed into every aspect of your life and not allowing your work to take over, but actually being present where you want to be.

So with that said, I have a few things to talk about here because There's a lot of talk about work, life balance, and that's not exactly what I mean. And so I'll walk through this, and, hopefully, it'll become a bit more Clear how I approach this and how you can take steps forward to be all in wherever you are. Alright. 1st, I want you to define your priorities and values. If you could look back in a calendar from the last Few weeks or months and see exactly where you spent your time. What would you say your priorities are? What would your calendar show that your priorities are? What would it say about your values? It's easy for us to just list our priorities and values, but can be challenging not to drift away from them over time. It can be challenging to actually follow through and live those out. So I find it's important to revisit and remind myself every so often.

Now I wanna be clear here that there are no shoulds or have to's or right answers. And it's more important to me that you are honest with yourself about your priorities and values versus pretending. There's no need to pretend. There's no judgment. You don't even have to share these with anyone. You get to decide what's a priority to you, and so it's okay if your priorities aren't what other people think they should be. They're your priorities. It's okay if you're in a season where work is a higher priority than something else.

What's not okay is pretending like something else is a priority and lying to yourself because then You just feel guilty. You feel shame. You create all of these feelings from thoughts around what you should be doing or have to do versus just choosing What's actually true for you right now? So list out your priorities and values, be honest with yourself, and then you're ready to go to the next step, which is all about planning time for your priorities. Now right out of the gate, I wanna make sure that you know you don't have to give an equal amount of time to everything. Like I said, I'm not all about trying to balance everything out as in everything gets the exact same amount of time. A higher priority may not even mean more time. You get to decide what that means to you. Maybe it just means something is done first before you move on to something else.

Maybe it's The highest priority because it's something you want to do consistently, but it doesn't have to include a certain amount of time, certainly doesn't have to require the most time. What it does mean is deciding the amount of time and their frequency for each priority and then scheduling that time Scheduling that time for your priorities in order. So when you're looking at your schedule for any given week, month, however far out you plan, You are listing and scheduling time for your priorities first before you fill in other things. So you don't let clients have free rein on your calendar and choose from any amount of time until you've first blocked off Time for let's say it's still work related, but maybe deep work is a priority for you. Maybe some family time is a priority for you. You get to decide, We're gonna block the time in order. If I were to wait until we aren't busy with Kids' activities and all of that, my husband and I would never go on dates. And I can tell you there are Many, many months where we haven't, because, again, I've learned this the hard way, and we figured out that we just have to schedule that time first.

Also, instead of focusing on more time with my kids, the quantity of time that I spend with my kids, I focus on creating more intentional moments with them. Mine are getting to that age anyway where their first priority isn't time with mom, but I still reach out, take the time, and plan something small. It could be as simple as, Like, my son and I spend at least half an hour together, just the 2 of us, once a week after school when he doesn't have practice, every week, at least once a week. Standing day is typically on Friday, but if something comes up for Friday, we do it another day. I also try to plan something out of routine, even for as little as 15 minutes. And I try to do that every weekend. Something small to do as a family. Now you're gonna be amazed if you try this and how much just connection and laughter can come from a simple 15 minute activity.

So many of us feel guilty or I'll just speak for myself. I have felt guilty in the past for not spending a lot of time with my kids. But when I started to make that effort, I realized that even just 15 minutes, we've spent that time, we've talked, or we've done something fun, And that's all that they want. That's really all that's even needed. So it can be super simple. For example, I pulled out some printer paper and scissors and we made snowflakes. As simple as it was, we were still laughing. And I can tell you there's a funny moment where one of my husband's snowflakes turned out a little inappropriate, even though it wasn't intentional.

So we were all busting and laughing from that, and then we put them on the wall to serve as a reminder. It doesn't take as much time as you might think to make memories. It just takes some intentional planning. Okay. So you've identified your priorities and values. You've planned some time, some moments that you can create. And then the 3rd step is all about boundaries. This is one that I'm mentioning last, but it's the most important and sometimes the most difficult to follow through on.

You have to set and honor your boundaries. Now I want you to think about boundaries as decisions ahead of time for what you will choose to do in specific situations. Decisions ahead of time for what you, Not anyone else, what you will do. Boundaries aren't for other people. They're decisions about how you will respond, what you will do. So, for example, choosing an end time to your workday and following through, Even when a client asks for something last minute, you're gonna follow through. You're gonna make a decision ahead of time for how to handle that. You're gonna follow through on your boundary to end your workday on time, maybe blocking off a minimum of to unplug vacations per year where you don't take client calls at all and working that into your contracts as a way to ensure you're able to do that.

Another example is I tell my clients they can ask me questions anytime, But I respond when I'm available based on the boundaries I have set for myself. Some of those boundaries you may communicate To other people, some, they're not anything that need to be communicated. For me, Like I said, when I tell my clients they can ask me questions anytime, I tell them what they can expect from me, and that is I'm gonna respond during office hours Monday through Friday within 48 hours. Typically, it's much faster than that. Sometimes, if I have availability, I'll answer outside of that, But it's at my discretion, and they never expect it. So I did communicate that boundary so that they know. Other times, it's just a boundary for me to follow. Your priorities and your values will guide your boundaries.

So what I want you to do is reflect back on those And then start to brainstorm the boundaries that you could set to help you live out your priorities and values. Being all in wherever you are is all about being intentional and being present. So go define those priorities and values, plan how you'll spend your time, and then create and honor boundaries to follow through. If this is an area that you struggle with, first, I want you to know that you are not alone. And growing your business without sacrificing your time is both a skill set and mindset that can be learned.

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