Episode 90: All the Feels

Being CEO doesn’t always feel great.

It’s 50/50 just like life.

Sometimes you feel confident, and sometimes you feel doubt.

Sometimes you feel excited, and sometimes you feel stressed.

CEOs sometimes feel…

curious, proud, powerful, courageous, inspired, optimistic, respected, valued, successful, creative, grateful, determined, and calm.

But CEOs also feel…

disappointed, frustrated, lonely, embarrassed, annoyed, bored, guilty, ashamed, afraid, rejected, worried, overwhelmed, vulnerable, pressured, inadequate, disrespected, and unfocused.

The question isn’t whether you’ll feel all of these feelings and more.

It’s whether you’re willing to keep going when you do.

In this episode of the Scale to Seven® podcast, I’ll be talking about what you need to know about feeling because building a business will not always feel good.

 

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • What happens when you ignore your feelings, and how to go all in on feeling all the feels instead
  • The best and worst thing that can actually happen in any situation
  • What creates your feelings, and the relationship between your feelings and results

 

Featured on the Show:

The Scale to Seven® Mastermind – Inside The Scale to Seven® mastermind, I’ll teach you how to simplify and go ALL IN with a simple and scalable business model so you can make more money, while working less.

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Welcome to scale to seven, your behind the scenes look at what it really takes to scale your business to seven figures. I'm your host, Kathryn Binkley business and leadership coach for online entrepreneurs. Here's what I know, building a business that will generate millions requires the Mindset, Strategy and Action of a future seven figure CEO, starting now, ready to scale to seven. Let's go.

Hey there before I jump into today's content, I have a quick reminder for you. Enrollment for this scalability factor is open. Inside this coaching program, I will teach you how to earn more, while working less with a simple business model is scalable, offer scalable selling and clear boundaries. And when you join before the end of the year, you're going to get a bonus All In workbook. And challenge to help you kick off the next year, more focused, strategic and committed, you'll set one big goal and go All In on that goal for the first 90 days of the new year. And you'll be fully supported with access to daily coaching in the community, and weekly coaching on live calls. Imagine what you can accomplish in the first 90 days with this support. But the best news is that you actually get lifetime access. Yes, this is a lifetime program. And so once you go through this for 90 days, you actually get to go through it and follow the process over and over again. You can enroll now at kathrynbinkley.com/scalability. Now, when we talk about support, one of the reasons that I believe in getting support myself, and why I invest heavily in coaching is because of what I'm talking about today. Being a CEO doesn't always feel great. It's 50/50. Just like life, sometimes you feel competent. Sometimes you feel doubt. Sometimes you feel excited, and sometimes you feel stressed. As a business owner, as a CEO, sometimes you're going to feel curious, proud, powerful, courageous, inspired, optimistic, respected, valued, successful, creative, grateful, determined, and calm. But you're also going to feel disappointed, frustrated, lonely, embarrassed, annoyed, bored, guilty, ashamed, afraid, rejected, worried, overwhelmed, vulnerable, pressured, inadequate, disrespected, and unfocused. And I'm sure I could go on and on. But the question isn't whether you'll feel all of these feelings. It's whether you're willing to keep going when you do. Some entrepreneurs hire coaches, or join programs expecting everything to feel better afterwards. But I'm not going to promise you that building a business will always feel good. In fact, I'm a coach because it doesn't always feel good. And I'm here to support you when it doesn't. And that's why I want you to learn about and understand feelings. A lot of people really try to avoid even talking about feelings. There are some things that you need to know about feelings if you want to grow your business. First, going all in on your business requires a willingness to feel all the fields, not just the good ones. Feelings are a part of the human experience both the positive and the negative. In fact, what we label as positive or negative is in relation to the other if we never felt negative emotions, then with positive feelings actually feels so great. No, of course not. But we often try to avoid those negative feelings. In our attempt to avoid the negative feelings now, what happens is we actually create negative feelings in the future. Look at some examples. Here's one in order to avoid the feelings of disappointment, embarrassment or inadequacy. Maybe you avoid selling altogether. But not selling now can lead to feeling disappointment, embarrassment or inadequacy in the future when your business hasn't grown. Or maybe you try to avoid the discomfort of giving feedback to a team member now, but you create even more discomfort in the future when they keep doing things incorrectly. Trying to avoid a feeling prolongs it. I want you to imagine for just a moment that there was a snake in your kitchen. And you try to ignore it by just go into your bedroom and closing the door. 

Now, that's not at all what I would do if there were a snake in the house, I would just probably go outside light a match, and walk away. Okay, maybe not, just kidding, probably scream and call my husband to come help. But let's just pretend that I saw the snake in the kitchen, and I went to the room and close the door. No matter how hard I try to ignore the fact that there's a snake, there's still a snake in the kitchen. Feelings can't just be ignored. Instead, you must learn to allow the feelings on your journey to grow your business, you have to dress the feelings, you have to allow them and process them. And so then the question really becomes, what feelings are you willing to feel in order to create the results that you want? The next thing that I want you to understand about feelings is that the best and the worst that can happen are feelings. Think about what you want. Ask yourself why. And dig deeper. Once you go several layers deep. If you reflect on how you'll feel, once you have what you want, you'll see that the feeling is what you really want. For example, let's say you want to sell out a group program. If you dig in and ask why, you'll uncover more. This answer is going to be different from person to person, by the way. So I'll give a few examples here within this example, maybe you want to select a group program because you want to let go of one to one client. Why? So you have more time. Why? So that you feel free? Right? You keep asking why? And eventually you ask yourself, what's that feeling that you want to feel? Or maybe you want to sell it that group program, because you want to increase the number of people that you work with? Why? So that you can make a bigger impact. Why? So that you feel aligned with your purpose, you want to feel more aligned, and on purpose. Or maybe you want to sell that group program because you want to make more money. Why? So that you can save more money. Why? So that you feel secure. Or maybe you want to make more money so that you can have more money and go on more adventures, so that you get to feel that sense of adventure. Whatever it is for you, I want you to dig deep. I really want you to figure out what you want, and then understand the feeling underneath it. Quick note here. But we think that changing the circumstance, the sold out group program will create the feeling that you want. But instead, you really need to tap into the feeling that you want in order to create the result that you want, in this case, a sold out group program. I'll talk more about how to create feelings in just a minute. Now think about one of the most painful experiences that you've had in business. And ask yourself why and go deeper. Just like before, once you go several layers deep reflect on the feeling that feeling is the worst part. For example, let's say a team member leaves to start her own business. Why is this so painful for some? And maybe not at all? For others? Maybe it's because you think that clients might leave to work with her. And he felt angry, or afraid. Maybe it's because you focus on all the work that's falling back to you and you're feeling overwhelmed or worried. Or maybe it's because you had such a big vision for her in your company. And you loved working with her so much that now you feel disappointment and grief. The best part and the worst part. Anything that happened always comes down to a feeling once you realize that, once you realize that the worst thing that can ever happen is a feeling.

Then you no longer have to try to avoid things at that same level, right? You can embrace it. You can decide ahead of time that you're willing to feel those feelings and know that that's really the worst thing that can happen. Okay, third, all of your feelings are caused by your thoughts. Now that doesn't mean you should rush to change your thinking immediately. Remember, all feelings are part of the a human experience. But what that does mean is that you can figure out why you feel the way that you do by figuring out the thought that created your feeling. And you can also decide how you want to feel, and then intentionally create thoughts that lead to that feeling. And here's the key. Without changing your circumstances, no matter what happens, you have the ability to either create awareness of why you feel the way you do, or intentionally create the feelings that you want. Now, let's go back to the previous example, of a team member leaving, maybe your initial thought was that clients may leave to work with her, and you feel angry or afraid. When you feel that anger and fear, you can first trace back what you're thinking that caused a feeling, then you can imagine if some clients do leave, to work with her, since that's what you're most afraid of, since that's the worst case that your brain presented, go ahead and imagine it. And really feel the feeling and process that feeling all the way through. And what I mean by that is to really sit with the feeling, allow the feeling, and eventually, typically faster than you think it will begin to dissipate. And then once you've processed the feeling, you can decide what you want to think and feel. And maybe, instead, you want to think there are more than enough clients for both of us. And then you go from angry and afraid to feeling calm, and abundant. Alright, like I said, feelings are a big part of business, because feelings are a part of being a human. And going All in on your business means going All In on feeling all the fields, realizing that the best and worst things that can happen, are actually just feelings and understanding that your feelings are created by your thoughts. All this feeling stuff is so important. And you might be asking why you really need to pay attention to your feelings. And again, it's because your thoughts cause your feelings. But then your feelings drive your actions, your actions lead to your results. And this, my friend gives you all of your power back. It gives you the power to create any result you want.

Hey, if you like what you're learning on the podcast, you have to check out the scalability factor. It's my coaching program where I teach you how to create and sell a scalable offer, so you can earn more while working less. Just head over to kathrynbinkley.com/scalability and I'll see you inside.

 

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