Episode 8: Do it Scared

I remember so clearly the day one of my biggest dreams became a reality, and exactly how I felt when I sat at my computer and typed up my resignation letter to my full-time job! I was so excited but absolutely terrified all at the same time. Do you remember a time when you felt both scared and overwhelmed with excitement? Maybe you’re feeling that way right now. What’s holding you back today? In this episode, I share three steps to transform fear and turn it into excitement. 

“FEAR IS EXCITEMENT WITHOUT THE BREATH!!” – Fritz Perls

  • Feel the fear! Instead of ignoring it, allow yourself to really feel it. Get comfortable with fear and know that at every stage, you’re going to feel the fear. In business, you might think, “As soon as I overcome fear, I’ll be able to do this.” but you’ll face fear at every level. Fear is never going to just go away.
  • Breathe. Slow down! When you’re scared, when you’re afraid of something big that’s going on, take a breath and give yourself some space to slow down, think, and plan your next move!
  • Take action! Whatever that next step is, do it! You have to take action. Don’t worry about having everything planned out. It’s highly unlikely you’ll know everything that needs to get done at once. You’re lucky to figure out the first step, the next step. Action is the antidote to fear, so simply take action and yes that means taking action even when the fear is still present. Here’s the thing, the fear doesn’t go away just because you’re feeling the fear or took a breath, it’s still there but by taking action you’re actually working through it. If you wait till the fear is gone, you’re going to wait forever!

 

Hey. Hey. And welcome back to the podcast. I've got a question for you. Have you ever gotten a meeting request from a supervisor with no details? If so, how did you respond? Did your stomach start to turn? Did you panic? Did you think about it days on end until the day of the meeting? Did you get a good night's rest the night before, or did you stay up wondering what this meeting was going to be all about? This happened to my husband just a few months ago. He received a meeting request from the president and vice president of his company, and he had no idea what it was gonna be about? I think he actually handled it better than I did because when he told me, I had all kinds of questions. What had happened recently? What was going on? Was there anything big happening at his firm? All of these questions were running through my mind. What could they possibly wanna talk about? Do you have any ideas? Did your boss say anything to you? Can you ask? I had lots of questions.

 

Let me give you another story. A few days ago, I received a frantic message from a client. She said nothing is working. Only 1 person has responded. I'm wasting money. No one is buying. I need to fix this, and fast. Maybe I should try something different, change direction, just scrap it all, start over.

 

The thing is, when I heard her saying all of these things, I had walked through the strategy and implementation with her? So I knew it was set up correctly. I knew that it was a proven strategy. It had worked many, many, many times before for myself and other clients? And it's a little hard to believe that it was tanking. And Now the old me would have immediately blamed myself. I would have started doubting my abilities, gotten defensive, started scrambling to try to figure out how to fix it? I would've beat myself up, apologized like crazy, suggested a bazillion new things to do or try, change direction, beat myself up some more, and then wondered why it wasn't working? But the new me is confident in my strategy, confident in the things that I work with my clients on. I expect a certain outcome, but I also disconnect from the results. So I don't take responsibility for the specific result, and I don't let them worry me? I'm confident yet disconnected. I checked the stats.

 

I heard my client panic. But before reacting, I went and checked the stats. And the funny thing is I saw how amazing things were going. So then I realized I just needed to reset expectations? I had to educate my client on how to read the results, how to know what was standard or normal in comparison to other campaigns? And I never once panicked. I didn't doubt myself, and I just coached my client through it. And at the end of the day, everything was fine? But what was the difference between my client's response and mine? Outside of expectations, and really understanding what was normal? It was the difference between facts and feelings. She had this gut feeling that it wasn't working. She was panicking because she wasn't seeing the kind of response that she thought she should receive, but she didn't have the facts? She didn't have the facts about what to expect, nor did she have the actual results.

 

She thought 1 person had responded. And when I checked, more than a 170 people had responded. She was worried that no one was buying. Yet at the same time when I looked at the stats, I realized not enough people had gone through the entire process to get to the point where they would be ready to purchase? So there may be times where you feel like nothing's working, or maybe you feel like everything is going just fine only to find out that the opposite is true when you look at the facts? So before you get to that point, when you realize you're really getting worked up or nervous about something, You recognize that maybe there's something going on with your mindset. I have an activity for you that will help you tremendously. I want you to take out a journal, ideally with 2 blank pages side by side. And on the left side, I want you to write the word feelings. And on the right side, I want you to write the word, facts.

 

Now on the left side, you might write things like, I feel like it's impossible to book a new client. I'm afraid to invest. I don't feel pretty enough to do live videos. Or anything else that's coming up for you. Just journal and list Everything that you're feeling about the situation, about your business, this could be about your marriage, your health, anything. Journal about it on the left hand side, how you're feeling, all of your emotions, what's coming up for you. Then on the right hand side, I want you to start looking at each of the things that you read on the left hand side, but then look for evidence of what is really true. What are the facts? On the left hand side, if you said you feel like it's impossible to book in new clients, on the right hand side, you may write something like, I'm not really promoting myself or even asking for the sale.

 

I'm not clear on my target audience. Or maybe you remind yourself that you just booked in 3 new clients last week, and you shouldn't panic just because you haven't booked in a client this week? It's still possible. Maybe on the left hand side, You wrote, I'm afraid to invest. And on the right hand side, you need to remind yourself that a return on investment requires an initial investment. Or you might write, I know that investing means I have to step up my commitment. And so the reason I'm afraid to invest It's because I don't really want to put in any more work. You need to get honest with yourself about the facts, about what's actually going on behind the scenes. On the left hand side, if you wrote, I don't feel pretty enough to do live videos.

 

Then on the right hand side, when you look at the facts, You might say, I have a message that will change people's lives. You might say, people wanna buy from real people, not perfect people. They don't really care what I look like. They're more interested in what I have to say. There's a lot more that you can dive into and write on the left and the right. To continue to brainstorm and think about how you're feeling right now and then separate that from what is actually true? That means before you ever spiral out of control and assume the worst in any situation, you go through this exercise, as you break down the feelings versus the facts, and that gives you the awareness that you need around what you're choosing to believe versus what is actually true? You'll find fairly often in business and life that you react to the limiting beliefs in your mind versus the real evidence of what's possible for you? So take the time, really dive in and understand the difference so that you can reframe and shift your beliefs and focus on what is true? When you do that, you create space, you protect your energy, and there will be far less drama around everything in your life when you simply stop and take inventory of your feelings versus the facts?

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