Episode 22: Goal KEEPING with Melissa Ronda

Episode Summary:

  • Obesity has been a theme in Melissa’s life since childhood and has affected her life in so many ways. One morning, while working as a paralegal, she told her husband that she was going to quit her job and start a business in the nutrition industry and hasn’t looked back since!
  • Melissa says that being a ladypreneur to her means that she gets to operate with integrity all the time and no one can ever take that away from her.
  • Since it’s the new year, we’ve all heard everyone’s goals and the excitement behind them. Although many of us are really great at setting goals, we aren’t so much at keeping them. Melissa shares her advice on how we can start keeping these goals throughout the whole year.
  • We make decisions from emotion and not critical thinking. Comparisonitis is a great example! We are comparing ourselves to someone else’s weight loss journey and want that for us too but, we are really only seeing the highlight and not the true facts! Once you can get real honest with yourself, you’ll be able to visualize what you really want for your life and not what someone else has!
  • Have you thought about what your WHY is? Melissa shares how she always found it difficult to explain her WHY. So, she created this unique practice and that was to imagine your WHY as an avatar. Create the woman that you want to be and envision yourself as this woman!
  • Slip-ups happen but that shouldn’t stop us from achieving our goal! Melissa gives her tips on what to do when we feel like we’ve “failed”. She says that it’s a mindset shift and giving up isn’t an option!

Grab Melissa’s free guide “6 Quick Swaps for Easy Weight Loss” ——> HERE 

About The Guest:

Melissa is the fearlessly forthright weight loss expert who helps busy women lose massive amounts of weight while eating food they actually want to eat. She is a true crime fanatic, podcast junkie, and lover of dresses with pockets. Since launching The Honest Weigh in 2014, Melissa has lead clients to weight loss totaling over 17,000 pounds and counting! But even more important than that, they keep it off with the skills they continue to implement.

Where to Find Melissa Online:

 

Today, I'm super excited to have our very first guest, and it is Melissa Ronda of The Honest Way. She's a fearlessly forthright weight loss expert who helps busy women lose massive amounts of weight while eating food they actually wanna eat. She's a true crime fanatic, podcast junkie, and lover of dresses with pockets. I mean, who isn't? Oh my goodness. Since launching The Honest Way in 2014, she's led I still lose more than 17,000 pounds and counting. But even more important than that, they've kept it off with the skills that they continue to implement. And that's exactly what we're gonna talk about today is not just how to set goals, but how to keep them. But before we get to that, Melissa, can you tell us a little bit more about your journey as an entrepreneur?

Speaker B:

Hi, boss. Hi. Being here. Well, I've had, The Honest Way for 4 years now. Originally, it was called Something Different and I decided to change the name, but I've been doing my business for 4 years now. And, yeah, it's just really evolved. I decided this is what I want to do one day. I went and got my certification with the intention of starting my own business, And then I just immediately started working with people.

Speaker B:

I started working with people for free, learned a lot, A lot about value Mhmm. There. And then I, you know, started having clients you know, charging clients Such a tiny, tiny, tiny bit of money, and I did that for many years until I decided to put my big girl pants on and hire a coach. And so the latter part of this year has just been phenomenal. I'm so excited.

 

And you're doing awesome. You're a rock star. I see all the things that you're doing, and you're you just impress me every day. Well, thank you. Every day. So okay. So What made you initially decide to start your business?

Speaker B:

Well, I was obese Most of my life, up until I was about 32 years old, I I I did a lot of fluctuating, but I was always Pretty obese. And my father was obese as well. And in my twenties, I tried to help him. I really should have been worrying about myself, but that's just my personality type. So I was trying to help him, and I would go to his house. And, he lived, like, in a state over about an hour away. So I going to his house was a big production, and I would go there, and then I would go to the grocery store. And, I would come back to his place, cook a bunch of food, box it up.

Speaker B:

So this is, like, in my twenties. So this was before meal prep was even a thing. I was just doing this trying to give him portion control and trying to control what he was doing. And so what he ended up doing was Eating that and then McDonald's. And I have learned a very painful lesson that you can't make someone do something that they don't want to do. But that really, really stuck with me. Obesity has been a theme in my entire life. It's affected my life in so many ways.

Speaker B:

And so when I decided to go about things differently, I had such a massive shift. And and I it's like I almost saw things in a way that I had never seen them before, and I thought, oh my god. Everyone needs to know this. And I woke up 1 morning and told my husband, this is what I wanna do with my life. I was a paralegal. I worked for a terrible lawyer. Mhmm. So it wasn't a hard decision to make that shift, but I did feel like You you can do that.

Speaker B:

Like, you can just, like, quit your job and, like, start a business. Like, this is crazy. But once I wrap my head around that, I did I just it was Full steam ahead. I and I've never looked back. I always I've always felt like this is why I was put on this earth.

 

That's incredible. When you find that and you just operate in that and I love that you've never looked back. It's you're such a natural, Obviously, an expert. You know what you're talking about, and you're impacting so many lives.

Speaker B:

Well, You know, I never really I was a really bad employee because I had saw so much inefficiency in things or, You know, inauthentic, I'm saying that politely, but just really morally just Bad, bad things. Okay? Mhmm. Working in in law firms. If we knew, we'd be scared. And so I but, you know, you felt painted in the corner like you had to do, like, whatever you were told to because you did. You know? And so I think the thing about having being my a ladypreneur, I would say, is that I get to operate, like, in integrity all the time. Like, nobody can take that away from me. And that is actually why I put honest in the name of my business It's because I never ever want to I never I wanna always serve people from a place of love.

Speaker B:

I don't wanna lie to anyone or mislead anyone. And so being in control of that feels really good.

 

That's Amazing for so many reasons, but one of them is simply the fact that that's probably quite uncommon in your industry. Yes.

Speaker B:

Well, that's how I think I have a leg up on the competition. I I really do because I think people are craving that. I just had a strategy session with a a a wonderful lady last night, and she said, you know, I saw your you just came across my Facebook feed, and it's just like I don't know. It was like you were talking to me, and and you were just like a real person. She was talking about how, you know, there's all these, like, cleanses and all these pills and all these things, and she was so sick of that. And I think that I think we're craving that right now, so I'm glad I was ahead of the curve on that one.

 

Yeah. That's awesome. So, You know, obviously, my audience is entrepreneurs. And today, we're gonna talk about your expertise from this angle of not just setting goals, but keeping them. And it totally relates. There's such a crossover between your industry the health industry, and then also business. And so this lesson's going to apply. Whether you're listening to it With your personal goals in mind or your business goals in mind, this is going to help.

 

Really, it doesn't matter what your goals are. This conversation is gonna help. But you have a unique Effective because you've operated in this industry, and you've heard from all of these women who have struggled with their weight who struggled to be consistent. And I know from experience, and you hear it all the time, People set these New Year's resolutions at the beginning of the year, and they get started. And they're all gung ho. They go all in, Full steam ahead. And then weeks in, all of a sudden, they give up. They slack off.

 

Something happens. So I wanna hear from you today all about Not just the goal setting piece, because we're all really good at setting goals, but we're not so good at keeping them. What advice do you have for us?

Speaker B:

Well, first of all, I think, you know, there's something that happens to us when we decide to do A diet. We make decisions from emotion and not it's not critical thinking. And if we really were to sit back and ask ourself questions like, you know, where do I see myself in a year from now If I do this diet, you know, what will happen when I go off this diet? Is this diet similar to Other diets that I've done before in the sense that it has restrictions to it. You know, we might we might look at the facts Yeah. And come to the conclusion that we wanna we probably should be doing the opposite of what we've been doing. But we go Just from emotion, we'll say like, well, you know what? Sarah Sarah's killing it. She is she's losing she's lied down. Have you seen her? She looks amazing.

Speaker B:

And then our ego Our ego wants that for ourselves too as we start to make decisions based on that we really know nothing about. Because we don't know if if Sarah's going to gain the weight back. We don't know. There's a lot of facts we don't know, which I see so many parallels between business. Right? Because how much comparisonitis goes on in our industry. It's like, oh, you know, I spent a I spent a, like, a big chunk of my time going, oh, well, she's doing this, maybe I should be doing that when I don't really know the facts behind it. It was all ego driven and just trying to, like, You know, be as good as she is or have people like me. And if I really sat down and and looks at the facts, I would've gone about things differently.

 

Such a good point. It's so easy to look from the outside in and think that you have a good view or a good understanding of everything that's going on. And even to make a decision in that moment just based on what's working for someone else that you think is working, but maybe it's not even working. I I mean, you literally have no idea if it's working for them or not. You just see the outside and make decisions based on it. And that's true in business as well. For sure, you can look at someone, see that they're successful, try to mimic the strategies, but you're missing so many elements underneath. And then sometimes, you have no idea how many times I've been in high level coaching programs or masterminds with other women and people who are out there talking about amazing success behind the scenes are really struggling.

 

And that's scary. And that's The part, again, going back to your business that I love, being honest and ethical always and and not putting on that show because other people are making decisions based on that. And like you said, it's coming out of emotion.

Speaker B:

Yeah. And so, You know, you'll see before and after photos. They're they're photoshopped. So that's the thing. I will use filters because I like my Instagram to look nice, But I never retouch any images. I want a woman to know, yeah, that if you're obese and you and you get fit, your your your body might look like mine. Like, It it may look way better. It it may not, but, like, I'm at least being authentic in that.

Speaker B:

Because what happens is when you start to You see these images and they're like, oh, guess what? 30 days. She looks amazing. It's like, well, she was a former athlete before those photos. Those photos are retouched. Right? So So it's really similar to what you're saying is that we're comparing to things that aren't even even true. Right? So So that's setting us up for failure in the 1st place is because we're we're we're that we're it's a unrealistic standard that we're setting.

 

Yeah.

Speaker B:

So once we can get, like, real and factual, like, with what what we have to work with and how long it's really going to take us And we can get really honest with ourselves about that. That's when we can start to take control and and start taking some steps forward, and start envisioning how How we want our life to be in a year, not like what what this coach's life looks like we think her life is like. Right. Right?

 

Yeah. Because you have no idea what's going on behind the scenes for her, or him for that matter. Of course, with ladepreneurs, I tend to talk about feminine.

Speaker B:

I do too, girl. I only work with women too, so I always talk about women.

 

But I think okay. So even looking at so looking at the diet industry, something may help someone lose weight in the short term, but you have no idea if it's actually healthy.

Speaker B:

Well right. And, you know, what's the sustainability there? So I go through this exercise with women, and I give them all these questions. And I want them to really sit down and journal on it. So I don't really encourage them to answer me, but rather answer themselves. So really get, again, real honest with yourself and ask yourself What you want your life to look like in a year from now? And I'm what I mean by that is how do you wanna feel in your body? How active do you want to be? What do you want to be eating? And you would be surprised how many women it's completely the opposite of the diet that they're doing. So if they're doing, like, a high fat diet, like, almost no carb diet, but they'll tell me, well, I mean, I wanna have a flexible lifestyle. I wanna, you know, I wanna eat well, but I but I also, you know, wanna, like, have pizza on a Saturday night. But yet, they're They're following a diet that has them only eating fat.

Speaker B:

So it's like they're practicing the violin, but they wanna learn how to sing.

 

Does that make sense? Oh, it makes total sense. I can see that in the entrepreneur space as well, like, so clear. As soon as I love all the parallels here because there are women who say that their goal is, Let's say their goal is freedom, and they want more time to spend with family and friends and to vacation. But and I believe in hard work. I know that you know that. But there are people who work constantly, and they're not building businesses that will actually give them that freedom. They're building businesses that they're slave to. And so, you know, they're creating this income that they want, but It's at their expense because it's all 1 on 1 work.

 

And so I know that there are different models of creating more freedom, but they're doing the exact opposite of what their actual goal is sometimes. So I

Speaker B:

I get it. Yeah. Well, you know you know, you're told to, like, what's your why? You know, what's your why? And for me, I I was like, I don't I don't really know how to amp you know? It feels like I might be saying something that I Think I'm supposed to be saying. So what I found helpful for myself as well as my clients is to talk about The why as in, like, an avatar. So, like, create the woman that you want to be and create, like, a like, a seen in a movie and envision yourself as this woman. And sometimes that will help people Well, instead of just coming out with the word saying, well, I value freedom, when they're painting the picture of them working, 60 hours a week. That that that isn't what they would be doing. They'd be they'd be imagining them working on a beach, and they'd be imagining, not missing their children's school plays.

Speaker B:

So then so then their behaviors are in direct their their they're in direct contrast To what they're saying that they want.

 

Yeah. And so going back to your industry, so people, I'm sure writing down things like they I think I've even heard you say, like, of course, they wanna have tacos and nachos and, you know, a cookie. Right? Yeah. Cupcakes. Do you wanna give up cupcakes for the rest of your life? No.

Speaker B:

So so, like, whatever you want your avatar to be, you've gotta start being her now. Like Right. You have to practice becoming this woman that you want to be And permission to be her now until the day that you just are her, but you don't practice Being something else and expecting you're going to get something else out of it is just like it's crazy to me.

 

So good. That is so good. And so why Act one way, and then let's bring this back completely to your industry. Why deprive yourself of all of these things if you know that ultimately you wanna get back to that. Because, sure, you might lose some weight in the short term, but you gain it all back if you completely deprive yourself of all of those things, and then you All of a sudden, give them all back to yourself in mass, I'm assuming. Like, you go from one extreme to the other. So and what's the difference? What's your approach that actually helps women keep their goals.

Speaker B:

Well, first, I'd like to say that the diet industry knows what they're doing. They want to give you quick results because you think you want quick results. So they're going to make you Feel like it's really painful and you have to, like, kick butt, you know, for 30 days and you're going to be fixed. And and and you're gonna get quick results, but they're not gonna be sustainable. So I pride myself on when I talk about, you know, my clients And I put their photos on my website. You know, I'll say down £50 for two and a half years Because to me, right, how many diets do they say, oh my gosh. I lost 30 pounds. Well, did you keep it off? Well, no.

Speaker B:

So what's the point? Right? So I teach my clients to imagine the woman they wanna be, and I help her work every single day at being that woman. And, of course, you're going to slip up, but it's a mindset shift. Like, well, of course, I'm practicing becoming something that I'm not. It's going to take time. Yeah. But, you know and the funny thing is is, like, really, if you just walked an additional 10,000 steps per day. Like, if you really were consistent, on average, you know, you could lose 50 pounds in a year, Like, if you change nothing else but people say a whole year. I don't wanna wait a whole year.

Speaker B:

Well, when's the last time you were down £50 and kept it off? Right? Right? So it's just it's just the way that you look at it.

 

Yeah. Now you just referenced something. You talked about slipping up. That's one of the things that I'm sure sets people back. They have 1 slip up, and they completely give up. They miss one day, and it's over. So when it comes to actually keeping your goals, can you talk a little bit more about how to handle, quote, unquote, failure?

Speaker B:

Well, first of all, there's a 1000000 ways that we can set ourself up for success. Like, if you are eating the right kind of food at the right time of day, You are going to avoid ego depletion. And ego depletion is, like, when you're in the grocery store And you are made a 1,000,000 decisions on what you were gonna buy, and then you're at the checkout, and then you see those Rolos the same Rolos. And then you wanna buy those Rolos because you've already made so many decisions that your mind physically, like, is just Tired of making decisions. Mhmm. So if you're in a program that does a lot of that decision making for you, You have more, you you're able to resist temptation. You your will Power is actually stronger because you don't have your ego depleted.

 

That's good.

Speaker B:

So so that's that's definitely one way to, you know, to handle it. The other thing I would be is would say is it's it's really it's a mindset shift. If you make a decision that You're not going on a 30 day diet. Like, there's not a start date. There's not a end date. This is just like a thing you're doing, and and you're doing it. It doesn't become an option to to give up, and it also becomes a wonderful opportunity to practice being That woman because that woman is a woman who you've painted the picture and she wants she wants to eat, you know, a nice salad, But she also wants to eat an ice cream sundae after her son's baseball game every now and then. So if you have that sundae And you make these choices, you're being her.

Speaker B:

You wake up that next day, and you start making healthy choices again. You know, I compare it to Tom Hardy is, like, my boyfriend. I just love him so much. And I compare it, like let's say Tom Hardy is a New Zealand shooting a movie, And they shoot 12 days in a row, and then Tom takes a day off because I kept him up late last night. Sorry. So, like, Does that mean that the movie is just like, all that film is worth nothing if he comes back to work on the 15th day? Of course not. Of course not. Right.

Speaker B:

Right. But for some reason, we get we fall into I know the reason. The reason is because the diet industry tells you these, But we fall into these traps of, like, all or nothing.

 

Mhmm.

Speaker B:

And so now we really in our head, it feels like those 14 days that we did great are all wasted, and that's not true. So another great way to make your healthy goals stick would be a habit loop. And so often we go on diets and, again, with the restriction thing. Right? So we're thinking about what we can't have or what we can't have, which Has us in a lack mindset. So if we can start thinking about adding in healthy things, those bad things will get Flood it out. Like, a great example would be if you let's say you wanna quit smoking. I wouldn't Focus really all that energy on the quitting smoking, I would focus on implementing exercise. Because when you start to add in the exercise, you're going to be feeling better and it's not gonna feel so great to smoke.

Speaker B:

It's also chemically going to make you happier to exercise, which also reduces your anxiety. So, you know, by default, you will be wanting to smoke less. You're also getting really excited about something, and it's a positive like you're like, oh my gosh. I'm getting stronger. My arms look great. Like so you're not and you you're starting to, like, wash out all of those negative habits, versus having that mindset of, like, well, now I can't I can't smoke, you know, and I'm going without because then all you're gonna be doing is thinking about smoking cigarettes. But if you add in the gym, you're going to be thinking about, like, you know, new exercises and feeling good, and it it's really it builds confidence.

 

I love that. So all about focusing on what you're adding in the positive versus focusing on what you're missing. Yeah. And so, Well, you

Speaker B:

know, somebody will say, oh, this is great, but, like, how do you do that? So that's where the habit loop comes in. You can Pick a time that you something needs to happen. Like, let me give you an ex like, let's say you wanna start journaling at night. You you just wanna start journaling. So I would say to you, you know, what is something that happens every night? Well, I get into bed, and then I, you know, and then I sit on my phone and I scroll on Facebook and my husband turns the TV on, and then we're eating snacks in bed and, you know, it's a whole thing. Right? So what you can do is you can say, alright. The trigger is I'm getting into bed. I'm going to journal, And then I will reward myself with scrolling on Facebook because there's a few things we need.

Speaker B:

You know, we need, we need connection with other people, entertainment, rest, sex. So there's certain things that just really drive us because we're human beings. So, you know, is it we're a lot like dogs. We really are. Like, it's just you'll sit. You just tell the dog to sit. You give him a treat. They learn that that's what happens.

Speaker B:

So if you can yourself to get into bed, get your journaling done, and then you can reward yourself with engaging with people on social media. You're going to attach, like, a reward to the fact that you did your journaling. Mhmm. But once you start breaking that chain and you just get in a bed and you get on Facebook anyway, That's where you really get into trouble. So you really want to work, to have those triggers. A a great, way to enforce that would be set Alarms on your phone.

 

That's a good idea.

Speaker B:

I do that in my business too. You know? I I so many of these things I apply And so many other avenues of my

 

life. Right. Anywhere that you set a goal, All of these things will translate. Every single tip that you're giving definitely crosses over. And that's the most fascinating part to me, I think, is that There is so much overlap. And when you're talking about keeping goals, the principles are the same. They're tried and true. But for some reason, we don't apply them.

 

You know? We we take the easy way out. We look for the quick results. And I think that's the biggest piece of it, is just looking for those quick results and not looking at what's sustainable and forgetting that going all out and trying to get some fast, Even overnight success, making $1,000,000 overnight, if you do that, how likely is it for you to do that every night? It's not very likely. Most people who are successful don't have the overnight success Stories. And even if they appear that way from the outside, going back and circling to the very beginning of what we were talking about, looking from the outside in, There's so much that you didn't see that built up to that. It's more about the sustainability, the small, consistent actions before everything really blew up for them in a Good Way.

Speaker B:

Yeah. I was listening to Dax Shepard, his podcast, and he was talking about everyone says overnight success, and you didn't see all the years I was at the groundlings or whatever. For you know? We don't we don't wanna see that. We don't wanna see the hard work that goes into it. And I think, like, if we just stop like, I used to apologize all the time, like, if I was in a restaurant and I excuse me. Oh, sorry. Oh, Excuse me. Sorry.

Speaker B:

All the time. Like, just apologizing for existing.

 

Mhmm.

Speaker B:

And I think if we can start Really valuing our word and not saying we're gonna do something unless we're gonna do it. Like, just don't don't don't put those words into the universe with zero intention on doing it, because you're teaching yourself that your word means nothing.

 

Right. Personal integrity is so important in every single aspect, following through. If you're going to promise something, make it happen. I love to talk about that in business too.

Speaker B:

Yeah. It's it's really, really cool. I just the discipline in all of it, and the ability to withstand pain, You know, or just uncomfortable feelings.

 

Mhmm.

Speaker B:

I I find the parallels between, strength training and and business building the same in that. Because it doesn't always feel comfy and cozy, but you still have to push through, and that's where, like, the greatness at the end of it.

 

That's awesome. So if someone were interested in making this year the year that they not only set goals, but keep their goals. If you were to sum it all up or give them a word of advice, what would you say?

Speaker B:

I would tell them to do that exercise. Create you know, everyone just sees goal posters, and I don't I don't Really get excited about seeing photos of somebody else's belongings or body Because my body's never going to look like Jamie Eason's body. She's like a the most famous fitness model. So putting Jamie's body on a a board is is really It's really bad for the psyche. Right? Because we're we're never really gonna that's saying, I'm not good enough. I'm gonna try to be this other person. Mhmm. Whereas we can Get that imagination we used to have as a child and really just envision the woman that we wanna be and how she lives and What she eats and and and how, you know, how active she is, and then take steps towards being her.

Speaker B:

Don't just do the diet that because every year, there's a fad diet. Mhmm. And I see him come, and I see him go. Don't don't do that. Practice being the woman that you wanna be.

 

I love that. That is such great advice. So if they wanted to start to be that woman and wanted to follow you and find out more and hear more from you. What's the best step for them to take right now?

Speaker B:

Well, you can visit my website, which is The Honest Way. It's weigh, like you weigh yourself. And you can grab your 6 quick swaps for easy weight loss right on the homepage there. It has all of my socials on there and everything too, so that would be the best place to go.

 

Perfect. And you've got an incredible group, so I highly encourage everyone. If this is something that you You have a goal around for the coming year, then go. Join her group. Get into the conversation. Open up and start taking small steps. She's always putting out some incredible content that will help you no matter where you are in your journey, so go check it out.

Speaker B:

Thank you.

 

Yeah. Absolutely. Thank you for joining me today. Thanks for chatting. This information is so relevant across every aspect of life. And so no matter what goals people have for the next year, I know that this is gonna help them to actually follow through. That's what it's all about. Right? Who cares if you set the goal if you don't keep it? So great advice.

 

Thanks again for joining me.

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