Episode 20: You Can Have It All

If you don’t think that you can have it all, listen up – because you can! 

I attended my son’s class Christmas party recently and I’m beyond grateful for the flexibility to be there. I still remember when I was in my 9-5 and had to decline my son’s invitation to his Christmas party. His wide smile quickly faded, and I couldn’t help but think about how he felt that day when all of the other parents showed up and his mom wasn’t there. This morning, I was reminded of that as I sat across the classroom and watched other kids holding back tears. So many parents were there, but I couldn’t help but notice this one little looking around the room. I could immediately tell that his parents weren’t there. It made me all the more grateful that everything has changed for me, and my son doesn’t have to be that one little boy. 

 I felt guilty when I worked, and I felt guilty when I was with my family. I couldn’t win! Have you ever felt this way? Maybe for you, it’s not mom guilt but you struggle to find time with a spouse, a friend, or yourself!  

I used to think that I always had to sacrifice something, and I couldn’t have it all! It was as if my life was one big pie chart and every time I gave more focus on one area, another had to suffer.

We talk about priorities all the time but we talk about them all wrong and make 3 big mistakes:

  1. We Pretend Like it’s Possible to Give 100% to Everything!
    • If everything is a priority then nothing is the priority! It’s impossible to have multiple priorities, and it leads straight to burn out. So instead, align what you say YES to with your values. Figure out what your values are and use that as a guide for what to say yes to and use those same values as a filter for when to say no.
  2. We Create Silos Instead of Synergy. 
    • Instead of distinct pie pieces, the various areas of our lives can overlap in such a beautiful way. Your day to day activities can accomplish more than one goal at a time. Take your spouse to that personal development conference with you. Work out with a friend. Listen to that podcast while you do your makeup in the morning. There are ways to stretch your time and overlap the things that you want to do in your life.
  3. We Let Other People Define Success for Us. 
    • Whether they put the pressure on us or we put the pressure on ourselves, we try to measure up to others’ definitions of success in every single area of life instead of focusing on our own desires. We create this “ideal” woman who we’ve literally just dreamt up and we compare ourselves to her! Instead, we need to decide who it is that we want to be!
'If everything is a priority then nothing is the priority!' - Kathryn Binkley #scaletosevenClick To Tweet

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