Episode 17: The Struggle Doesn’t Have To Be Real

I have a question for you… what is your biggest challenge in your business? This is a question I ask every potential client and I’ve heard many answers! Most say their biggest struggle is finding and booking clients. Many say confidence or time management. Some say, balance or fear. You name it, I’ve heard it. Well, there is one thing I haven’t heard. I haven’t had a single person tell me that they have no challenges. Most would identify multiple challenges if given the opportunity and maybe even proudly display, #thestruggleisreal BUT I’m here to tell you that the struggle doesn’t have to be real! So, I’ve got a little tough love for you and everything is truly meant with love.

  •  Your business is designed perfectly to get the exact results that you’re getting right now.
    • Are you not getting clients? Maybe, there’s something that needs to change with the way that you’re operating your business or there is something wrong with your marketing strategy. If you want different results, you’re going to have to change something.
  • Your present circumstances are a reflection of your past thoughts.
    • Your thoughts create your reality, but your current reality is based on the thoughts that you’ve had in the past, not your current thoughts. Just because you’ve done some work and addressed your mindset doesn’t mean that that’s going to be reflected in your current reality… instead that’s going to impact your future. If you haven’t done the work yet and you want to see something different in your future, that means you need to examine and change your current thoughts. You have to change your beliefs now in order to impact the future.
  • Struggling is a choice. 
    • You don’t have to struggle, you get to choose and you are not a victim to your circumstances. Take the responsibility and realize your part in your life. No matter what happens, you have to see your role in it and know that you have a choice. If there were a reason that you were choosing to struggle, why might that be? Here are some examples.
      • Is it easier to say that you’re struggling with time management or that you don’t have the time when you’re really choosing to waste time because you’re scared of what’s on the other side of success?
      • Do you complain that your spouse isn’t supportive  verses choosing to do whatever it takes because you know that it’s easier to say that it’s his fault than it is to face the decision on the other side of success about whether to get a divorce?
      • Do you say that you struggle with visibility when you actually choose to play small intentionally because you worry about what people are going to think of you?

 

Welcome back to the podcast. I'm curious. What is your biggest challenge in your business? This is a question that I ask every woman who joins my Facebook group and every potential client. And I've heard many, many answers. There have been all kinds of variations in wording, but most say their biggest struggle is finding and booking clients. Many say confidence our time management, some say balance or fear, others get really specific and mention branding or raising their prices. You name it, I've heard it. Except, there's actually 1 thing I haven't heard.

 

I haven't had a single person tell me that they have no challenges. No one has ever said nada, zilch, or I'm completely challenge free. Most would identify multiple challenges if given the opportunity, and maybe even proudly display hashtag the struggle is real. But I'm here today to tell you that it doesn't have to be. The struggle doesn't have to be real. So I've got a little tough love for you today, and everything is truly meant with love. Some of it's gonna be hard to hear. It might piss you off at me or at yourself, but bear with me.

 

It'll be worth it. The first thing I want you to know is that your business is designed perfectly to get the results, the exact results that you're getting right now. Are you not getting clients? Or there's something wrong with the way that you're operating your business? There's something wrong with your marketing strategy. There's something going on. Something's gonna have to change. If you want to get a different result, you're gonna have to change something. You can't keep wishing and waiting and hoping for results, but not trying anything different. If you keep doing the same thing, well, I think you know how that goes.

 

Right? The second thing that you need to know is that your present circumstances are a reflection of your past thoughts. Your thoughts create your reality, but your current reality is based on the thoughts that you've had before in the past, not your current thoughts. So just because you've done some work and you addressed your mindset, doesn't mean that that's gonna be reflected in your current reality that's going to impact your future. And if you haven't done the work yet and you want to see something different in your future, well, that means that you need to examine and change your current thoughts, change your beliefs now in order to impact the future. Now this last part is the toughest part. I know this is going to be tough to hear. You may have even heard it before and shut down, but I encourage you to really listen, really try to understand where I'm coming from. Because here's the thing, struggling is a choice.

 

You don't have to struggle. You get to choose. You aren't a victim to your circumstances. Things don't simply happen to you. You have to take the responsibility, take the ownership, and realize your part in your life. No matter what quote unquote happens. You have to see your role in it and know that you have a choice, and that often you are making a choice, maybe subconsciously, but you are. You're choosing your present reality.

 

You're choosing the struggle. And that's where You might get a little upset once you really realize that that's true. If there were a reason that you were choosing to struggle, why might that be? Can you entertain with me just for a moment the possibility that you're choosing it? What would be the benefit? I'll give you a few examples. Is it easier to say that you're struggling with time management or that you don't have the time? When you're really choosing to waste time because you're scared of what's on the other side of success. Do you complain that your spouse isn't supportive versus choosing to do whatever it takes because you know that it's easier to say that it's his fault than it is to face the decision on the other side of success about whether to get a divorce. Do you say that you struggle with visibility when you actually choose to play small intentionally because you worry about what people are going to think of you. These are a few real examples. I didn't make these up.

 

Their real things that I've heard and experienced myself. There's often far more to your struggle than you think. It's easy to answer the question, what's your biggest challenge in your business? With a surface level quick answer. But when you dig deep, you'll understand that struggling really is a choice. You choose it because it's less painful than the alternative that you're avoiding. A lot of this happens subconsciously. You're not outwardly avoiding something. Instead, you're trying to protect yourself from what you perceive to be the greater pain.

 

But when you accept that it's a choice, and you break down your beliefs, and you realize that the stories you're telling yourself about what's gonna happen once you're successful either are downright not even true or they're not nearly as painful as you might have thought. When you realize how much it's gonna cost you to stay where you are now and you discredit all the lies that you're telling yourself about success. Then you have a choice to make. Then you know it is a choice, that it's your choice, that no one else can choose, that no matter what happens, you're still in control. You get to choose your future. You have the choice to change your strategy and the way your business is designed. You have the choice to change your thoughts through mindset work. And ultimately, you have the choice to let go of the struggle.

 

The struggle does not have to be real.

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