Episode 15: Dealing with an Unsupportive Spouse

He told me the words I wanted to hear. He told me to go after my dreams but I didn’t feel his support for such a long time. In fact, I could see right through his words. His support didn’t feel authentic until… it finally did. And until then, I struggled like never before. So, how did I make it through? There are nine specific steps that I took in my journey that I’d love to share with you.

• I stopped sharing my fears and doubts with my husband. 
  • I realized they were only feeding his own fears and doubts. I needed to project confidence! I wanted so badly to share those things with him, but I couldn’t in that season. Not if I wanted to actually create the success that I had in mind.
• I hired a coach.
  • I hired someone else to speak with and go to when I needed help dealing with all of the things that were coming up in my business. Someone who knew how to work through the  fears, doubts, and challenges. I could work through everything with her, without worrying my husband.
• I had to stop telling him what I was going to do and start showing him! 
  • You have to “make more moves and less announcements” and that is exactly what did. I had to make it happen instead of telling him what I was going to make happen.
• I recognized that his comments were a reflection of his own mindset. 
  • When they got to me before it was because there was a part of me that had the same mindset! Those same fears and doubts were in me, but once I took care of my own mindset, I was able to realize that he was just dealing with his mindset hurdles.
• It was a choice to allow his negativity to impact me. 
  • The negativity certainly did not go away but I let it stop impacting me. I chose to ignore it and not to focus on it.
• I shifted my focus from him to my goals. 
  • I went all in working towards my goals. No matter what he said and how hurtful the comments were, I just kept going.
• Celebrate the wins! 
  • I shared every good thing that was happening in my business, so that he could start to see that things really were happening.
• I shared more once he opened the conversation. 
  • Once he noticed how I had changed, he started to ask questions. Then, and only then did I share more about all of the mindset work that I had done. In those moments, he started to understand more just how much things were really shifting and what was really possible!
• I proved him wrong. 
  • Now to be clear, proving him wrong was not my motivation. I just focused on my goal and did what I needed to do. Eventually It happen and I actually did what I said I was going to do, and all of his doubts disappear because it had happened!

I know that you can reach your goals. Don’t lose hope! You’ve got this!

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